So i recently joined a new ambulance company in the area and had my orientation. Orientation went well, up until the end, when we all got comfortable talking to each other. As it turned out, I was the only Paramedic in the room, everyone else were basics. Fine, not a problem. Or so I thought. People had been making snide references to “para-magics” and “para-gods” all day but it didn’t bother me.
I personally have no experience in volunteer ems, I know nothing about it because where I’m from, if you volunteer, it means you can’t get a job. And as one wise medic once put it to me ” Your pay is directly to proportional to how good you are, paid paramedics and EMTs tend to be OK (if not good), volunteers tend to be terrifying”. And so very proud of being “volleys”.”Yeah, I’m a volley, I risk my life to save others for no money, but its no big deal. I’m not a hero or anything, though a lot of people think I am. I just heard on my scanner there’s an accident 8 miles away, lets go see if I can save a life”.
Here though, EVERYONE volunteers and the thing about volunteering vs paid (or career) is that ANYONE can be a volunteer. And I mean anyone. So In this spirit, as we were joking around, I mentioned how when I was in New Jersey, I was talking to a Paramedic who knew that there was a midget on the fire-department in his town. Nothing wrong with midgets of course, I just don’t want my life to depend on one in a fire. I thought this sounded like a pretty reasonable statement (as everyone was talking about how fat volunteers tend to be). Well, no, it was not okay. The girl sitting next to me (a 4′8″ volunteer) immediately turned to me and began to ask why that scared me. I would have thought it was obvious. I may only be 5′6 but I weigh around 160lb or so (…..mostly muscle…..mostly) but someone under 4′10, wearing 50lbs of bunker gear and now trying to carry out a 210lb man doesn’t sound to me like the safest plan. She disagreed and so did everyone else.
In the land where they decry political correctness as left-wing horse shit, I was being lectured on the political correctness of firefighter midgets. I mean, really. I thought if there was one thing we could all agree on its that midgets should not be expected to run into fires rescuing downed firefighters. Shooting Muslims, lynching blacks, sure. But firefighter midgets, they will not tolerate that sort of hate speech!
